Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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