It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
