I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
