I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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