He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
