We're facebook friends in real life
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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