Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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