If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
