You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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