Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
