My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
