I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
