Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
