so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
