Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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