WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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