wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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