I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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