Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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