yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
