he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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