my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
