I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
