Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
