I'm lost and stupid without you.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
