i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
