sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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