Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize