Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
