So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
