i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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