Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
