Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
