youre lurking in front of me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
