Dual....:-)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize