He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
