He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
did i just pee glitter
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
