we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
