How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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