She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
