I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
