She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize
