yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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