There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize