exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
