So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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