Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
me + whiskey = a bad person
this is an emotional support booty call
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize