just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
