Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
