end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
