He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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