very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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