i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
