i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
