they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
