I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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