I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
