Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
