I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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