Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have post one night stand depression
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