She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
