Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My balls are so social today.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Your penis caused this!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
