I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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